Out and About in Dubai

Today, in addition to applying for my liquor license, I also applied for my UAE driving license. Couldn’t do so before as was waiting for my residency visa which was issued yesterday.

Woke up, went online to see if I could find out some instructions on how to apply for the license, found some info about not having to retake a driving test due to being in possession of US license, however nothing on office times nor locations. Finally found some info, printed it out, headed out the door, got in elevator, read the print-out, closed Thursdays!?

Grrr. Back up the elevator, online again to find a phone number to call. Busy signals all around, automated messages that just put you in a loop or hang up on you. Finally got thru to someone who confirmed that the license bureau is indeed open. Back out the door, into a cab, cabbie didn’t know where the place was (what do you mean you don’t know where the place is?? Where did you get YOUR license??? Oh, in Abu Dhabi, I see), quick call to DB to sort directions out, cabbie still took me for a ride, finally got there 30 min and AED50 later ($15). Mind you, the place is only 5 minutes from my apartment.

By now it is 12pm. The instructions I printed out said it can take 4-5 hours to go thru the whole process so I’m crossing my fingers that I can get it done by the 4pm closing time and that the ladies-only line is empty.

Am directed by lobby person to a small office with a lone Emirati (dishdasha and all) sitting at a desk in front of 2 copy machines. He is on his cell phone. When he finally finishes his call, he takes my passport with residence visa, 2 passport photos, and ….(pause)…he is now checking his text messages…now he is texting…okay now he is ready for me to hand him my NYC license. I hand him the license but before he has fully extended his arm to take it from me, he is on his phone texting again. He asks me for my mobile details to fill out on the form but before I can finish reciting my numbers he is on the phone again. When he gets off the phone, he continues with the application but I have to remind him that my mobile details are incomplete. Right, right, he says as he glances at his texts again. Perhaps I too should start texting someone, anyone.

Finally, after all documents were photocopied (Remember the copy machines behind him? He didn’t even have to get out of his chair!) and the AED40 payment of translation services were rendered (the driving application is in Arabic only), he tells me that the licensing office is closed.

Ooookay, so where I am? Timbuktu? He tells me that I must go to the other office, that it is open until 9pm. Where is it, I ask. Jumeirah Plaza, he replies. I don’t know where that is, I respond. You know Safa Park? he asks. I shake my head no and decide to make him work for the AED40 by asking him to draw me a map. Then I double-check with him the closing time and what directions to give to the cabbie.

Soooo I get in another cab, ask him to take me to this Jumeirah Plaza Center, pay him his AED45 fare, and as I exit I ask the cabbie if this is indeed the License Place. What, he exclaims, the license place is in blah blah blah. Oh, can I walk there? I inquire. No madam. Hmm, I say goodbye to the cabbie anyway and decide to check out this Plaza Center that I have been sent to. Inside, a security guard tells me that the licensing place is in Jumeirah Center Plaza, not here. Um, excuse me, I thought I was in Jumeirah Center Plaza. No madam, you are in Jumeirah Plaza Center. Jumeirah Center Plaza is next door. Sigh.

The eye exam for the license can be done at any optical so I enter the one pointed out by the security guard, go thru a series of A-B-Cs and 1-2-3s, some colorblind stuff (are those 5s or 8s?), pay my AED25, head over to Jumeirah what-ever-Center-Plaza praying to god that the place exists and is open for business.

Open it was with one person in line in front of me but the Emirati government official is…SURPRISE…on his cell phone.

Well 15 minutes later and 110 Dirhams lighter, I exit the office with a sparkly new UAE driver’s license - Woohoo! And then I noticed it. My last name was spelled wrong.

Tags: driving, red tape | 3 comments »

In Dubai, alcohol is only served at hotels and private clubs (ie. golf) so people tend to hang out A LOT in hotels. Our favorite haunts are the JBH (Jumeirach Beach Hotel) and the Jumeirah Madinat for the obvious reason (email me if you don’t know) and also because it’s a quick 10-minute drive from our apartment. Although it can take up to 45 minutes during the PM rush-hour.

I’m not sure why I haven’t eaten yet at the Burj Al Arab as that is right by JBH and is also a Jumeirah but we have been to JET (Jumeirah Emirates Towers) twice to eat at Vu’s (delish! and great views) and Tokyo (so-so sushi but the fried oysters are a must!). However, to get to JET we have to brave the craziness that is SZR (Sheikh Zayed Road) and it’s a good 30 minutes away if there’s no traffic. We also frequent the Noodle House (also Jumeirah-owned) in our neighborhood and another one will be opening up soon in our complex, but alas, neither are located within any hotels so no alcohol for us there. Whoops, I digress.

Now to purchase alcohol in Dubai, you can either do so at the duty-free shops in the airport or you can obtain a liquor license by passing a drinking test. This involves visiting the local liquor outlet, slamming down 5 shots of tequila followed by singing a Garth Brooks song of your choosing. I thought about doing “Friends in Low Places” but DB had already picked that one so I decided on the more alcohol-appropriate “Two Pina Coladas” which goes something like this:

I was feelin‘ the blues,
I was watchin‘ the news
When this fella came on the TV
He said that I’m tellin‘ you,
That science has proven
That heartaches are healed by the sea
And that got me goin‘ without even knowin‘
And I packed right up and drove down
Now I’m on a roll, and I swear to my soul
Tonight I’m gonna paint this town

(chorus)
So Bring me Two Pina Coladas
I want one for each hand
Let’s set sail with Captain Morgan
Or we’ll never leave dry land
Any troubles I’ve forgotten
I’ve buried them in the sand.
So bring me two Pina Coladas
She said goodbye to her good timing man.

Maybe my a Capella singing didn’t wow the liquor authorities because they then demanded that I also give them a copy of my passport with UAE residence visa (just got that yesterday, woo-hoo!), a passport photo, and DB’s liquor licence. And then I was told to come back in 2 weeks to pick up my license. Perhaps I should have showcased myself better with “Beer Run”:

Twenty-five minutes past quitting time
Seven of us crammed into that truck of mine
Paying no attention to them highway signs
Doing ninety miles an hour toward the county line
Quick sack, twelve pack, back again
It’s a B Double E Double R-U-N.

My buddies and their babies letting down their hair
As long as we’re together it don’t matter where
Ain’t got a lot of money but we just don’t care
Knowing half the fun is in the getting there
Aztec, long necks, paychecks spent
Oh, it’s a B Double E Double R-U-N.

Tags: alcohol, red tape | 2 comments »