Out and About in Dubai

Last week, I got into a discussion (yet again) about bad driving in Dubai. It is inevitable that this topic will come up on any given night. Because bad driving is just that bad here.

So I was talking to a friend and I mentioned how Dubai doesn’t immediately punish bad drivers so the offenders repeat the offense over and over again. For example, if you are caught speeding by a speed camera, you get fined but (1) it’s not like they send you a ticket in the mail so how are you supposed to know that you got a ticket and (2) even if you did get a ticket in the mail, it’s not like you would (a) get points on your license b/c Dubai doesn’t have a point system or (b) charged interest for non-payment like in the States. Okay, on to point (3) which is that many people wouldn’t even know where to check for possible tickets they’ve received so they don’t even bother. (BTW, you can check for outstanding tickets at any RTA office or online here.)

As I continued on and on about how bad driving is encouraged here b/c it’s not punished, it suddenly occurred to me that maybe I was a bad driver. I mean, I don’t honk at drivers to hurry up just as the light changes from red to green, but I certainly have been known to drive over the speed limit and I have never paid for parking at a parking-metered lot. Why? Because of the same reasons I outlined above. Let’s say I get a speeding ticket every day on the way to DB’s work. But because I have no idea that I received a ticket, I continue to drive over the speed limit.

As for the parking meters, I started out as a law-abiding denizen of Simcity, er I mean, Dubai, but the first couple of times I tried to put money in a meter, nothing happened. No acknowledgment that I had deposited money, no parking stub came out, no money got returned, nothing. So I went to another meter and put money in. Same nothing happened. So there I was faced with a dilemma - do I move my car out of a parking spot that took me FOREVER to find? Or do I just not pay? Obviously, I went for not paying and haven’t put any money into a parking meter since.

And now my story goes back to that fateful day last week when I said aloud, “Why should I pay for any stinking meter when they’re not going to ticket me anyway?”

And just my luck, I got a parking ticket that night. 150 dirhams. Ouch.

Tags: driving | 1 comment »

AME Info recently posted the following:

The Dubai government, mindful of the emirate’s terrible road record, recently pushed through harsher rules to try and improve people’s driving habits. After they came into force, Dubai police said it issued 2,300 fines on the first day. So here are the AME Info unofficial rules of the road for drivers….

AME Info top 21 driving rules in Dubai

1. There are only two speeds on Dubai roads - too fast and stationary.

2. When driving at 120km/hour ensure you are 30cm from the car in front and then furiously flash your lights at them, even though it is three solid lanes of traffic and they can’t move anywhere.

3. Roundabouts are for parking/picking up/dropping off mates. Everyone knows that, stupid!

4. Never indicate at roundabouts, especially when turning left or doing a u-turn - that would just give other drivers a clue of your intentions.

5. Never choose the correct lane for your exit when going round a roundabout - drivers love it when you suddenly cut across them - it tests their brakes.

6. Never indicate when changing lanes. This also gives people a clue of your intentions.

7. If someone is courteous and lets you in, never thank them - that just shows weakness so more fool them for being nice.

8. Never let in drivers who are indicating that they need to move into your lane so they can turn right. It’s fun watching them miss their turning or pull a dangerous manoeuvre.

9. If you do miss your turning, just reverse, no matter how fast the on-coming traffic - it’s their duty to avoid you.

10. Always brake at the last possible moment - then you can see the whites of the other driver’s eyes in their rear-view mirror as they widen.

11. When speeding in the slow lane, flash the car in front who is actually going slow. Everyone knows slow cars should be in the middle lane.

12. Slow cars - always drive in the middle lane, forcing other cars to overtake on either side of you.

13. Hard shoulders are designed to help you get past that traffic jam quickly, not for broken down cars/lorries or actual emergencies.

14. When in heavy traffic, a gap of half a car is an invitation.

15. Equally, a red light is more of a request than an order.

16. Your horn is like beautiful music to other drivers, so keep hitting it.

17. Never strap your child in - that wastes valuable seconds in getting to your destination.

18. Speeding through a petrol station as a short cut when trying to get past a traffic jam is legitimate.

19. Never fully concentrate on the road; instead use your journey wisely, eg for texting, chatting on the phone, eating, drinking or reading. In extreme cases, your drive is also a good opportunity for a quick nap.

20. Always open your door and spit when in traffic jams - it is big and it is clever.

21. Finally, one for the pedestrians - always cross the motorway/freeway at its busiest point, when cars are at their fastest. Drivers love the adrenaline rush as you run in front of them and they get to test their driving skills as they try to control that skid.

Tags: driving | 6 comments »

So Bush is in town today and tomorrow and is creating mass chaos. He’s staying in Abu Dhabi but is in Dubai for a “meeting” at the Burj. Wouldn’t be surprised if he just wanted to have lunch there.

Anyway, instead of utilizing the Burj’s helipad, he is DRIVING! So the following roads will be closed today (so-called test-run) and tomorrow: Sheikh Zayed Road, Al Khail Road, Beach Road (parts), Al Wasl Road (parts). Closing Sheik Zayed Road is like closing down all of the NJ Turnpike plus Garden State Parkway combined. That’s like telling New Yorkers - no trains will be running into Manhattan! Imagine if every time there is an important meeting at the UN, the city closes down midtown?? And we are talking from 6am to 5pm. Here is the announcement as of 4pm today:

UAE blocks roads for Bush

With US president Bush visiting the UAE, The government announced on the radio that Sheikh Zayed Road will be closed tomorrow from Garhoud to Al Barsha from 6am to 4.30pm. Al Wasl Road and Jumeirah Beach Road will also be closed in addition to the area around Umm Sequeim.

Dubians depend on these major thoroughfares to get to and from work, drop kids off, etc.

And get a load of this nonsense that was posted on Khaleej Times (as of 4pm today):

Holiday declared in Dubai tomorrow
13 January 2008

All ministries, government departments, schools and private companies in Dubai will have a holiday tomorrow. This has been done to avoid congestion on the roads that could be caused by the closing down of some flyovers, bridges, tunnels and main roads. Official government sources have urged all nationals and residents to avoid using main roads and streets.

Ridiculous. All for BUSH???

Tags: driving, wtf | 2 comments »

Today, in addition to applying for my liquor license, I also applied for my UAE driving license. Couldn’t do so before as was waiting for my residency visa which was issued yesterday.

Woke up, went online to see if I could find out some instructions on how to apply for the license, found some info about not having to retake a driving test due to being in possession of US license, however nothing on office times nor locations. Finally found some info, printed it out, headed out the door, got in elevator, read the print-out, closed Thursdays!?

Grrr. Back up the elevator, online again to find a phone number to call. Busy signals all around, automated messages that just put you in a loop or hang up on you. Finally got thru to someone who confirmed that the license bureau is indeed open. Back out the door, into a cab, cabbie didn’t know where the place was (what do you mean you don’t know where the place is?? Where did you get YOUR license??? Oh, in Abu Dhabi, I see), quick call to DB to sort directions out, cabbie still took me for a ride, finally got there 30 min and AED50 later ($15). Mind you, the place is only 5 minutes from my apartment.

By now it is 12pm. The instructions I printed out said it can take 4-5 hours to go thru the whole process so I’m crossing my fingers that I can get it done by the 4pm closing time and that the ladies-only line is empty.

Am directed by lobby person to a small office with a lone Emirati (dishdasha and all) sitting at a desk in front of 2 copy machines. He is on his cell phone. When he finally finishes his call, he takes my passport with residence visa, 2 passport photos, and ….(pause)…he is now checking his text messages…now he is texting…okay now he is ready for me to hand him my NYC license. I hand him the license but before he has fully extended his arm to take it from me, he is on his phone texting again. He asks me for my mobile details to fill out on the form but before I can finish reciting my numbers he is on the phone again. When he gets off the phone, he continues with the application but I have to remind him that my mobile details are incomplete. Right, right, he says as he glances at his texts again. Perhaps I too should start texting someone, anyone.

Finally, after all documents were photocopied (Remember the copy machines behind him? He didn’t even have to get out of his chair!) and the AED40 payment of translation services were rendered (the driving application is in Arabic only), he tells me that the licensing office is closed.

Ooookay, so where I am? Timbuktu? He tells me that I must go to the other office, that it is open until 9pm. Where is it, I ask. Jumeirah Plaza, he replies. I don’t know where that is, I respond. You know Safa Park? he asks. I shake my head no and decide to make him work for the AED40 by asking him to draw me a map. Then I double-check with him the closing time and what directions to give to the cabbie.

Soooo I get in another cab, ask him to take me to this Jumeirah Plaza Center, pay him his AED45 fare, and as I exit I ask the cabbie if this is indeed the License Place. What, he exclaims, the license place is in blah blah blah. Oh, can I walk there? I inquire. No madam. Hmm, I say goodbye to the cabbie anyway and decide to check out this Plaza Center that I have been sent to. Inside, a security guard tells me that the licensing place is in Jumeirah Center Plaza, not here. Um, excuse me, I thought I was in Jumeirah Center Plaza. No madam, you are in Jumeirah Plaza Center. Jumeirah Center Plaza is next door. Sigh.

The eye exam for the license can be done at any optical so I enter the one pointed out by the security guard, go thru a series of A-B-Cs and 1-2-3s, some colorblind stuff (are those 5s or 8s?), pay my AED25, head over to Jumeirah what-ever-Center-Plaza praying to god that the place exists and is open for business.

Open it was with one person in line in front of me but the Emirati government official is…SURPRISE…on his cell phone.

Well 15 minutes later and 110 Dirhams lighter, I exit the office with a sparkly new UAE driver’s license - Woohoo! And then I noticed it. My last name was spelled wrong.

Tags: driving, red tape | 3 comments »

Today’s driving adventure involves an attempt to visit Dubai’s Ras Al Khor Wildlife Sanctuary. As it is UAE National Day on December 2nd (their Independence Day from the British), we were afraid our usual weekend beach haunt would be crowded so we opted for a little bird watching instead.

Into our little Toyota Yaris we went with birding binocs and the biggest Dubai guide book ever in the hopes that the enclosed maps would prove somewhat useful (wishful thinking). So, according to the guide book, there are supposedly 3 viewing stations at Ras Al Khor that were constructed in 2005: one is on Route 44, and two are on Route 66. Both routes intersect each other at one point so if you miss one viewing station, you could try the next one. Sounds simple enough?

Well, we arrived to where 44 meets 66. Many times. We think. But always on the same but wrong side of the road (go figure). Most of the time we weren’t even sure what road we were on, what direction we were headed (North?), let alone where the hell the viewing stations could possibly be as they were not marked with signs that say: Ras Al Khor Viewing Station - 500 meters. That would have been too easy.

At one point DB wanted to give up and go to Ikea as one of the detours we were taking led us to Festival City, aka Ikea-land. But I was not going to give up. We had been circling for nearly 2 hours - I better see some damn birds!

30 minutes later and we finally made it to the side of the road on Route 44 where the Sanctuary is. DB slows down the car a bit and we scan for any possible side roads nearly missing one but manage to pull in at the last minute into an un-marked little paved road and HURRAY we found it - a viewing station!!! And then we find our sign - “Closed Fridays” F*$#%*$#%*!!!

Here is DB happily walking towards the viewing station not knowing that his bird-watching dream would be dashed in mere seconds:

UNESCO huh? How about putting up some road signs!!

Lessons Learned:

1. Get a real map
2. Research and confirm operating hours (as Friday is the holy day in the UAE, many gov’t and private offices, and apparently some attractions, are closed)

For future bird watchers, please visit these sites below:

• Official Website of the Ras Al Knor Wildlife Sanctuary
• Birding the UAE - has more useful maps, lists bird sightings, and photos

Tags: birds, driving | 1 comment »